I’ve decided to listen to EVERYTHING on my iTunes. It sounds hellishly dramatic, and in some ways it is, particularly this first 10 minutes or so. Why? Because I’ve decided to listen to it from smallest file to largest - which means I’m currently privy to bursts of introductory drumbeats interspersed with short vocal pieces, comedy skits and John Lennon quotes. I know eventually it’ll become punk songs a minute long, followed by those new wave sellouts who could play for two, the perfect three-minute pop songs, the post-45″ four, the rock five, metal six, prog-rock seven, eight, nine and beyond, then a few days.. weeks… later the epic classics, followed by the full-album-downloads-noone-ever-bothered-to-cut-up and then wrongly miscast Lost fan podcasts on how Faraday will change the future I haven’t deleted by then. 

Provided I go through with this insane plan.

It’s Mothers’ Day tomorrow/today. Tariqa hates surprises, so I bought her a dress she indicated she would like, and it arrived a day or two ago with an outdated, yet impressive price tag in the triple digits. We’ve kept up this ludicrous facede it’s actually the cross trainer I bought a day or two ago, which actually cost triple digits, which is the kind of thing I’m buying cause we have all this space to fill in the new place. 

After 15 minutes of listening to my iTunes from smallest file to largest, I’m a little disturbed that I’ve heard the Who sing how worried they are little Tommy is going to be staying with paedophile Uncle Ernie three times already. Do the Faraday and tell him not to go, already!

My cross trainer hasn’t arrived yet, so despite shaving completely yesterday, I still don’t get ID-d at the supermarket. 

Next week my new, music/tech blog goes live on 3news.co.nz.  It’s called ‘Eight Track Mind’. I’ll link when it arrives.

Mirrored from Radio Over Moscow.

Here’s a track from the Battletech sessions that isn’t going to be on one of the albums - calling it a ‘b-side’, ’cause that’s what it would have been in the old days. Can download for free at 128k if you want, as usual. It’s called ‘Broken Windows’, and you can conjecture what it’s about all you like - I wrote most of it 11 years ago, rewrote it a few months ago after a few wines and have no idea really. 

Last night after a few wines and an hour or two of recoring the note ‘E’ in a droning fashion for another song (it’s the kind of thing the song needs, but you have to be a few wines down to bother doing it), I went to bed but couldn’t work out where this shifting, changing grinding sound like a chainsaw, or circular saw, or some other kind of mechanised saw was coming from. It was loud, and sounded as if someone had decided to home renovations at 3am on a Sunday.

Tariqa found the source of the racket - my battery powered toothbrush had fallen into a bucket whilst on, and the vibrations were being amplified quite literally through the bathroom floor.

Weird!

Mirrored from Radio Over Moscow.

Roy and I chatting over a Facebook status update came up with the following formula - it tells you the odds you’re not going to be horribly hung over the morning after going on a bender.

(12-f)x(sin(d) +( (x to the power of a)/(y+z+b) )) : 1

x = the number of drinks
y = kebabs
z = glasses of water
a = number of different types of drinks consumed
b = glasses of powerade
d = number of days of drinking
f = what hour you start work in the morning

It’s amazing what you can get done on a slow news day at work.

Mirrored from Radio Over Moscow.

 I'm cleaning up my computer (reorganising shit, finding out what I've actually accrued over the years, it's just like real tidying) and I came across this: an email sent to TVNZ by an inebriated James and I, back in early 2003. Having the internet on at home was still a novelty, and we were trashed.

----------------------------

Hi there

PLEEEEEEEAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEE

repeat the Young Ones!!!!! It's been something ridiculous like 3 years now since they last played on TV. that was a looooooong time ago. we believe the public is now willing and ready for a complete (both) series repeat of what is perhaps the third greatest comedy of all time (behind MONTY PYTHON and BACK OF THE Y of course :p ).

When I (dan duran) was in my early teens, watching the Young Ones was my only source of information on what it was to be a student in a flatting situation. Now, some might say that it was over the top and not meant to be realistic, but they would be wrong - i've lived in flats that we're the real-life equivalents of rik, mike, neil and vyvian's existence.

if the show cannot be shown for copyright and contractual reasons, PLEEEEAAAAAAAASEEEEE use the money that ISNT being spent on M2 to buy the rights for it - see if you can get a discount by claiming it is a Public Information Service. I learnt a lot from the exploits of the Young Ones crew, and would love to have a recap.

But seriously, there are 15 year olds out there who have never heard of Rik Mayall and Nigel Planer, who watch TV at random nighttime times who may come across this show and go "Woah!!!! what the f--k is this??!?!?!?" just like i did in my early teens and was forever hooked....

SO, in conclusion, PLEEEEEAAASSEEEEE return the Young Ones to our screens. Even if it is at 12.30AM on a tuesday night....

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

------------

dan duran & Kerr Avon - Co-Presidents of the People's Organisation for the Liberation of the Young Ones (television show.

(the POLYO-TV)

P.s. we have beed drinking Lindauer wine and Moskva Vodka. I hope this does not devalue the quality of our argument.

Since I have to quit drinking by the end of the year (not that as I drink as often as some of you, it seems), I've decided on a plan. I'm swapping the coke/bourbon premixes for wine, because a) it's healthier, b) you don't have to drink as much, c) you don't drink as much as they're not caffeinated so you don't stay up all night, d) it's cheaper, and e) you feel crapper the next day on less, so you drink less knowing this.

Except when doing mega-tidies, cause I need the energy, but if the house stays tidy (for the millionth time I'm saying this is the stay-tidy time) that won't matter. Or something! But whatever happens, I have to quit by new years. With the exception perhaps of Camp, though I probably won't be going anyway even if there is one.

I'm going to go do Book #27 now. It's my Saturday night.

Had a pretty crazy time last night. We played at the PR Bar with the DHDFDs and Kill the Fake Patient. Weren't that many people there, most were next door watching the All Blacks lose to Australia, but it wasn't exactly empty. The DHDFDs went on first, and were completely insane. At first I felt a bit embarrassed for them, the singer's 'wacky' stage antics seemed kinda forced and attention-whoring, but at some point in the set, perhaps the third song or so, they crossed the line from lame into awesome. They were fucking loud too, so we turned everything up to compete (there was no way we could compete antics-wise, we're all a bit old for giving each other shoulder rides and whatnot), and played pretty well, even if out front it was just this wall of noise. My poor bass amp was distorted on the clean setting, and it's not a large room.

Kill the Fake Patient took it a step further, and gave up four or five songs in as the sound was indiscernible from noise... so instead we all hung out, drinking the beers each of us had smuggled in, then Kent and I went to our friend Rachel's 21st. That was crazy too, Thom from Yokel Ono was plastered and freestyle rapping over hip-hop beats, a guy tried to get me to eat a chili pepper, and another nutter suggested I propose to Rachel's sister, after I'd been talking to her for all of five minutes (about Rachel's audio engineering skills, of all things).

Been a while since I had a proper 'what's going to happen next?' kind of night, was good. And I feel fine today! Woot.

And because I haven't done this in a while...

TOP TEN ALBUMS OF THE LAST TWO MONTHS!

1. Blonde Redhead - 23
2. Manics - Send Away the Tigers
3. The Good, the Bad, and the Queen - s/t
4. Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero
5. Ryan Adams - Easy Tiger
6. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
7. LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver
8. Modest Mouse - We Were Dead...
9. Amy Racecar - Conclusions
10. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Baby 81

I got home half an hour or so ago, trying to find something on TV interesting enough to watch, yet dull enough to put me to sleep... I know I'll end up on the Nat Geo channel or BBC News, but you never know.

Scully is destroying the Franz Ferdinand (the band, not the man) poster we have up by the second couch tower. And now he's drinking the water out of my glass on the end of the couch!!! AHARGRAHGHGH!

Anyway, had a cool night, we ended up in a chaotic game of Cranium, which I hadn't played before, and don't think I could play again without instruction from someone who had. And I was given a knife! I'll give the context later.

I still hate Jesus' followers.

There's this weird meta-Batman movie on TV at the moment - it is simultaneously the story of how the show began, and Adam West and Burt Ward investigating a mystery, in the present day. As themselves, not as Batman and Robin.  Weird.

Anyway... Our show last night was all kinds of awesome. The band on before us, The Viet Nam War, brought along a shiatload of people; and since they put half of them on the door, they gave up their share of the money, which ended up being huge regardless. That, and we played real well, the new stuff came together, and there were heaps of people up dancing. Our last show at the Dog's Bollix lost us $60, this one made that back probably three or four times over. Very nice!

tariqa's gone to Christchurch to hang out with Alison (kiwialicat). Unfortunately, I forgot Jesus doesn't allow alcohol sales on his day of death, and I forgot to prepare! Was planning on perhaps playing poker with Flik and some of her friends tonight, but she forgot it was Jesus Day too. Stupid ass religion.

I bought this computer game, Black & White, and it's pretty funny. You're a god, you have villagers, there are other gods, and so on. But what's cool, is you don't necessarily have to be 'good' - you can frighten your people into worshipping you. Also, you have this magic creature you ahve to teach from a young age. Mine's an ape, and eventually he got sick of the grain I was feeding him. I gave him a sheep, and he ate one, then said he wasn't going to eat another. Same with a cow. So I gave him a piece of his own poo - yes, he does poos and needs to be toilet trained - and he ate it! Then chundered everywhere, and got angry... yeah.

At the moment I'm getting pretty good mileage out of throwing large boulders at villages that haven't yet converted to worshipping me. And any game that allows me to say "At the moment I'm getting pretty good mileage out of throwing large boulders at villages that haven't yet converted to worshipping me," is pretty awesome, by default!

I think I've finally finished recording the 14 instrumental tracks for the new album. Only took 18 months! Oddly enough, a couple of them have been done entirely within the past week - I've got my production mojo back it would seem. Recorded pretty much the entirety of Small Town today, bar the acoustic guitar I did on Thursday. Seems to fit right in with the others, all mixed and everything. YAY!

Next, I've got to finish working out the lyrics and vocal arrangements, demo them all, work out who's going to sing what, and organise trips to Hamilton accordingly. Oh, and write the dialogue and organise the sound effects, 'cause it's a concept album after all.

I think I've earned some cold ones... I knew going a year without was going to be impossible :) But as I've always said (well, not so much recently, but I have said it on occasion) - aim high, so when you fall short, it's higher than you could otherwise have expected.

I don't really expect that to be quoted by intellectuals in the distant future.

I was at the Rock Shop earlier to buy some picks, but thought I'd enquire about some shiny new bass strings while I was there. Me: 'Out of interest, how much are your sets of bass strings?' Him: 'Four strings or five?' Me: 'Err... three.'  (if you've seen my bass guitar, you'll understand)

The Cosmic Joker hasn't given up on me yet, it would seem. The morning after my last 'cold ones night', I woke up without the slightest feeling of anything hangover-like at all. Nothing. It was as if I spent the previous night eating carrots and lettuce and vitamins and drinking fruit juice and smoothies. Some lesson.

Tariqa got me an awesome Star Wars book for my birthday. It has lots of cool pictures and stuff. Everyone else got me jack.

I was so looking forward to the new Muse album, Black Holes and Revelations, that came out on July 4, that I completely forgot about my birthday on the seventh; and so forgot to tell anyone to buy me shit. Ah well.

RE: my last post, about quitting Burger King and alcohol, well fate had one of its awesome cosmic jokes in store. On the way home I wandered into my usual liquor store to buy my last pack of cold ones - I usually just get a four pack of the 8% Woodstocks (shutup, ow) - and what do I see? A special deal - discounted twelve packs of my usual Woodstocks, with a voucher for... a free Whopper Burger.

Sometimes, I'm convinced the universe is arranged how it is for a reason.

I turn 26 tomorrow ("and what, you still use livejournal?!" you all ask...). To celebrate, I'm going to try and do the impossible - quit Burger King and alcohol for a whole year - until I turn 27. You can tell by the way I describe this feat as 'impossible' that I really expect to be able to do it, huh? But to celebrate in the meantime, I'm gonna have one last cold ones night tonight, stop drinking before midnight and let how I feel in the morning be the first lesson I learn as an official mid-to-late-twentysomething.

How does this affect you all? Well, from now on, every time I post some rambling crap about anything, you'll know I really mean it. And... that's about it really.

Anyway... I've worked on another track for the concept album over the past few days, and discovered in the process how wack an instrument the harmonica is. How the hell am I meant to play a tune on it, when every time I blow into it, a chord comes out? I did a little melody thing by covering up all the holes bar one with my fingers, but I never saw Bob Dylan do that, so that can't be how it's done. I figured out If I blow just the second, third and fourth holes from the left, it plays a C chord (C/E/G, in no particular order - I only know it's C cause it fit with the loud guitar part that's a C). Unfortunately, the song uses not only C, but also E minor, E major, A minor, A5, Am7, Am7sus4, D, Em aug (?), and finally, G. I think. 


TOP 5 ALBUMS OF THE FORTNIGHT!

1. Muse - Black Holes And Revelations
2. Grandaddy - Just Like the Fambly Cat
3. Divine Comedy - Victory for the Comic Muse
4. The Decemberists - Picaresque
5. Isobel Campbell + Mark Lanegan - Ballad of the Broken Seas

I could so go some of this.

A guy came into the store today asking fo Warren G. Warren G?! What is this, 1996?

WHAT I GOT FOR XMAS

A bongo drum
A lamp
A new pair of chucks
Eight bottles of Lion Red
A set of trays
A comic book about rabbits called Apocalypse Meow (I suppose I'll know why when I read it)
A pair of rattlesnake magnets

And probably something else I've forgotten... Eight?

Ooh, I'm about to see Luke Skywalker take out the Death Star. Hang on. Darth's on his tail. Why doesn't Vader just shoot him? He's flying pretty straight. Leia looks worried. Here he goes... But wait! Han Solo comes in and takes out Vader, leaving Luke to destroy the Death Star! Wooo.

ANYWAY... Tariqa's already had a bitch and a moan about our weekend here. I suppose I'll add it also took AGES to do anything... like, when we got up in the morning to go to Raglan, I had a rest for about an hour, played an entire game of Age Of Empires II, and still had time to ask Tariqa, 'what is it exactly that we're waiting for?' At that particular moment it was washing, but who knows. Annalise, Tariqa and I got to Raglan almost an hour before the others, and were about ready to go home by the time they arrived. Of all the relatives, Annalise was perhaps the easiest one of the lot to get along with, despite the reputation... I heard many arguments while in Hamilton, some I was a part of (lets just say I'll never be trusting whitepages.co.nz again), some from the neighbours (if the kid won't go to sleep cause he's hungry, then feed him, don't scream at each other about it all night), but none quite as weird as the one between Tariqa's two sisters. Five minutes of eavesdropping, and I still couldn't work out what they were fighting about. Apparently it was towels, but it sounded more like a debate from a first year BSocSci tutorial.

My sister's growing up fast too. Last time I hung out with her, she was into Ashlee Simpson. Now it's all My Chemical Romance, she even had like six badges, pinned to her pants no less (like I used to have mine - she even said this was why she did it this way, woo). She seemed pleased with the Brotown series 2 DVD I got her also... My brother kicked my ass at Age Of Empires II, my first game and all though... so I've borrowed that in leiu of not being able to play Civilization 4, which still bugs me. It's a turn based strategy game, why did it need to be in 3D???

Hung out with Rob + Simon on Monday night, Tariqa stayed for the Family Guy movie, Jenna stayed with us through Anchorman, but then it was boys only as we hit town... boys only being the original plan, but hey. It's not like you get much guy talking done when you're watching Family Guy/Will Ferrell. Besides, I didn't stop laughing for about five minutes after seeing the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man, so as you can see, not a lot of discussion could be had anyway... sensible, guy or otherwise.

We hit the Outback, cause Spirited was shut, played some pokies and some pool. Simon and Rob had a go at Sega Rally, which i opted out of due to the fact I completely suck at Sega Rally - I can't turn the car while it's in the air, you see, and I seem to spend most of my time in that game flying through the air, uncontrollably, and without hope of ever passing one checkpoint in time. Daytona USA I rule at, but not Sega Rally.

Rob might be moving to Auckland sometime, as Jenna is looking for higher pay - presumably because Rob isn't earning the required income to meet her standards - being owning a beach house, earning enough for her to stay at home, etc etc. It's when she said the most she can get per hour nannying in Hamilton is only, "about $17 per hour," nannying, that I thought to myself, how did Rob end up with this girl? Three years ago Rob was seriously considering (and had the plans all set up to) starting a commune on government owned land in the forests near the mountains south of Turangi. I suppose that's one thing growing up poor does for you; you learn to live with whatever life throws at (or in this example, doesn't throw at) you. I'd hate to be disappointed with myself if I didn't earn a brazilian dollars a year, cause it's so much easier... not earning a brazilian dollars a year. But anyway, one upshot of that is Rob might move to Aucks, which would be cool. I even got him to admit he mightn't mind giving music in rock band form another shot. But you know, they also mentioned Australia as another option, so who knows. I did talk to Laura this morning, she told me she's moving to Aucks in a few weeks, so yay, a friend. Well, another friend. I suppose I have some up here now. Kinda.

There was a commotion outside earlier on, I thought maybe a fight was going down, but no - Still Man (so named as he 'busks' by standing still and doing absolutely nothing all day) was having verbal fisticuffs with a preacher, and a third man was taking photographs, while bypassers looked on in bemusement. No idea what they were arguing about, I assume one of them started doing (or in Still Man's case, not doing) thier thing on the other one's turf. But if there's one thing Still Man sholdn't be doing while on the 'job', it's getting into arguments. He's meant to be a human statue, not John McEnroe. He's kind of diluting his brand with this behaviour. It's not the first time I've seen him yelling at people either, I once witnessed him verbally abusing a man in line at the ATM near where he stands. He must be bottling up his anger while he stands so still all day.

I had a dream last night I got sunburnt on my facve while wearing sunglasses, so had the white around your eyes effect, with the red cheeks and everything... it's happened before in reality, but in the dream, I had a solution to the problem - I borrowed some of Tariqa's new tanning lotion, and just coloured in my face all a bronzey kinda brown. Why didn't I think of that before?

Wow, normally when I update at work, on our crappy Windows 95/IE 5.0 computers, the editing buttons at the top of this box are invisible. But not today!

So, we've moved. What a mission... I got hardly any sleep this weekend, Kosh just won't shut the hell up - he's quiet during the day, but as soon as it's dark, he starts up. Grrr. One of the guys who moved us told us all about how he was born in one of the houses in Hamilton that now belong to the O.Cs, and how he once used a shotgun to take out a German flag + helmet they had flying, cause they upset his mum. Wicked.

My first bike from the new place to work took 5min 53 seconds, which is about 40 seconds behind my ultimate best time from the old place - but the wind today was horrendous, so it shouldn't be too long before I break that mythical five minute barrier. And it's one less hill on the way home, yay.

We had the staff Xmas party on Saturday night, as I mentioned in my previous post. An email went around yesterday to all the stores, thanking different people for different things they did at the party, some serious, some in jest... I got a thanks for... helping to clean up. Wow, I really must've been the life of the party... not. I did get a Duran Duran DVD and Savage Garden's greatest hits though, so that's at least $40 towards Christmas presents for people...

I'm still pissed I didn't get to see the cricket though.

Did I say already my latest 'thing' is wanting to be a computer programmer? Add it to the list of wanting to be a librarian, wanting to own a motorcycle, wanting to be a jedi, wanting to be an amateur mythbuster, wanting to get a drumkit...hang on, I still want to have/be all those things! But at least I have a background in computer programming, even if it was in the 1980s, and it actually pays. Unlike being a jedi.

I suppose I should put in my 50c (inflation) about the Sydney riots thing. Well, if these idiots wanna act like animals, then we should treat them as such; the authorities should lock them all up. And feed them dogfood, I suppose... What was that retard on the news thinking when he said his forefathers fought for their rights to have Australia, for Australians? Doesn't he mean his forefathers stole bread, loitered, and drank in public among other things that would have got you deported from overcrowded England in the 19th century? If you're gonna form a mob 5000 strong and dish out vigilante justice, at least pick the right group to pick on: criminals and gang members! And get torches and pitchforks, and some rope while you're at it. Look the part; no mob should be seen in public topless, wearing baggy shorts and carrying surfboards!

But seriously. Eeeediots.

Where to start? How 'bout at the beginning? Of today. Ish. Of course. Well, I had no comments on my previous entries, which is fair I suppose. When you're a nobody, you shouldn't expect to get 73 replies to every new post you make. Especially when this is the eleventyfirst new blog you've begun in the past three years...

I woke up. Then went back to sleep, and had a bad dream that I'd been fired from my job, cause I made too many mistakes. Which'd be fair enough, actually. I've made a few silly, minor mistakes recently, that I suppose could be put down to inexperience, but they were enough to trigger a horrible dream. In reality, the past couple of days I've cashed up have resulted in the store being down money; I don't know why, both times it's been the EFTPOS, which I suppose is a saviour in a way, as it doesn't look like I'm stealing cash (which I'm not, before you start, but it sucks to continually have to tell the boss there's money missing). But still, ARGH!

Is ARGH the way you're meant to spell that kind of semi-primal guttural bellow you do when you're frustrated and manly? Like, a deeper, more human Chewbacca? I don't mean a Mel Gibson style, 'freeeeedom,' just a frustrated ARGH when something not quite as bad as losing your country's autonomy occurs... like, not finding your pen, or something.

So. I jumped on my bike to fetch a couple of things. Firstly, cold ones. Secondly, beige ones. One. Following Alison's example, or depsite Alison's example, I bought a NZ Cricket beige shirt; for those who aren't aware, just google 'beige' and 'NZ' and 'cricket,' and I'm sure you'll get the idea. I've always been a small kinda guy, and with this in mind, I tried on the 'small' beige shirt. Seems I've done too much, I dunno, sitting around watching cricket and drinking cold ones to fit into a small shirt. So medium it is... the girl behind the counter verbally wished they'd make girl versions... which makes me wonder, do people call me 'the guy behind the counter'?

I then recorded this demo of a song. NOW - my main issue with recording demos is that I used to do it all the time, and it would take an hour, and I'd have like 10 songs recorded in a few days, albeit at demo-on-c60 quality, but still, so many songs recorded for posperity etc in so short a time. Now that I'm a little more serious, it can take AGES to record something; even when it's just a demo. You know, something that only I (and maybe) Tariqa will hear, that's mainly recorded for the purposes of having a record of the song, and incase I record it properly one day, and a way to work out some ideas.

Then again, 5 or 6 years ago, I'd use the default keyboard 'rock' drumbeat for demoing...

Anyway. I rattled off a song this morning/early afternoon, 'Dirt and Morning Grass Dew.' I'll upload a demo when I can be bothered, I suppose. That makes two new songs demoed since I decided to discard the album I was previously recording... (since January... 14 or so songs... 2/3 done... but not good enough!)

I found out my previously NZ First voting friend has decided to ditch the party this time around, due to Winston's unpredictability. Which I found at first amusing, then scary; as to which party he might back instead... which turns out to be National. Which I suppose, isnt' as bad... to a degree...

If my tax cut was large enough, I'd donate some of it to anyone who promised to knock off Winston Peters, Don Brash, and Rodney Hide... and for laughs, maybe anyone who'd promise to knock up Helen Clark... she is the PREFERRED Prime 'Minister' by a long shot after all.

I am afraid though if the Greens got their way, and my pay was increased by a few dollars an hour, I'd get fired... being the new guy, and all, I'm probably the most expendable staff member... speaking of which, I should probably ask for a contract sometime soon, you reckon?

Which brings me to about now. Tariqa is on the way home, having quit her job, and she's bringing fish'n'chips. Like, I only just heard she's quitting... apparently the meeting was smoother than could be expected. I hope this isn't the first place you read this, certain folks... but it's good. She'll be happier, knowing she's getting out of the industry... and will hopefully have options open up, flexibility to try new things, and find something awesome to do instead of work out when others in addition to herself should slave their hours away to Telecom.

As long as it isn't left up to me to bring home ALL the bacon, ham, and assorted meats, we should be A.O.K. Unless of course, I get fired from my job!